[12.15.10] SECOND LOVE: Autumn, Leaves are Drying

After my heartbreak, I wasn’t able to get closer to him anymore and it hurts like hell once again. Another heartbreak.

I tried to be friends with him. I think it will work but one thing changed; him. He changed a lot and hangs out now with some of our classmates especially Arielle. Arielle is one of my classmates that confronted me about him.

I realized, before, we’re the close ones. Now, she’s even hugging him at the back, which I’m wanting too. Almost everything that I wanted to do with him is already gone; gone with the wind. I keep on saying “impossible” now for that in my point of view, nothing will change now. Nothing.

But even though, impossible is such a big word for me to say, I tried to write him a letter. Maybe, it’s my last time for me to say goodbye. I really want to say it personally, but how? A letter will be the only one solution for me to take. It is also a risk that I will face.

I gave it to Rizza after the Christmas Party. To be exact, we are in the mall when she’s reading it. She smiled after reading it aloud in front of me. At least, there’s no any of my classmates around.

Another year came, another usual except for some bothersome projects and requirements. This year started in a good way but as the days pass, I realized one thing that I caused; he became my mortal enemy. They started to say bad things about me. At first, I still can accept it but as days pass by, it hurts also. Of course, I’m still human that can be hurt. When he left me, I cried. When he’s with someone, I cried. When he destroys me little by little, I cried. I truly wish that something would change. A change that can answer some of my questions since 2 years before and this wish came.

Rizza gave me a bunch of letters that she said it’s from him. I read it one by one and never thought that he would write such things. What is he doing when he’s writing this? What does he think when he’s writing? Why? These questions filled the slots of the questions that he answered in his letters. I cried as I read it. Of course, it’s my first time to read such thing from a guy that I love. After I received those, I saw the other side of him. A Marcus that is sensitive, a writer and most of all, a Marcus that missed me a lot. I decided after that I would write him back. But days passed, I came to think that I shouldn’t give all of the letters that I’ve made. I know that I’m selfish but I noticed that he might be lying with those letters. I forgot one thing when I’m reading those; I forgot my mind. My mind will tell me that he might be lying or it would tell something good that it can change some things.

A year passed and I stopped on believing in the things that I shouldn’t; it is love.

I returned as a Senior, the next year. And to my surprise, fate started to play again. He is my seatmate. It was awkward at first but I’ve to be used with that. He’s my seatmate and no matter what, we’ll have to wait for the next quarter for us to change seats. For 2 months, I became open to him and he accepted it just like before. Of course, I’m happy. But for some time that he’s been cruel to me by his words, I became angrier and I almost kicked him away. But of course, I wouldn’t do that. I’m not that cruel. Hahaha!

After a quarter, our lives are different once again but I don’t want to let him see that I’m sad because of him.

Now, I even start to avoid his glares, stares, and any contacts from him because I want to be used that I’m far away from him. I really want to be far away from him because I really fell in love with this guy and I can’t stop myself from it.

I don’t know if fate will really connect the lines that are broken for almost 4 years. Or will destiny let me get hurt because I hurt him so much? Maybe it will be better that I never did fall in love with him because we’re the ones who are very affected and I really don’t want to hurt the person I loved the second time around, Marcus.

The leaves are already drying and no one can stop it because its nature is to change. Even time can’t stop it.

[12.15.10] SECOND LOVE: Autumn, A Start of New Love

After the unofficial break up, I decided also to transfer to other school. For me, I can easily move on if I’ll be able to lessen the times that I can see him. Even though his house is two blocks from ours. The pain is still fresh when I went to my transferring school, to take the entrance exam. The exam is a piece of cake. After a few days, I had my interview and finally, I made it. I really hope that this transferring will do the trick.

First day of school, a start of something new. I came late to my first class because I don’t know where to go. Of course, I’m not used to the big schools where there are separate building for every year. Luckily, when I entered, they just stared at me and the teacher is discussing that time. I listened to my teacher after fixing my bag and some of my books.

So she’s our adviser. She told us some reminders about the homeroom rules and the normal routine for the first day. To make this day short, it’s our recess time and some of my new classmates are introducing themselves to me. I don’t know yet what to react because it’s my second time to transfer school. My first is when I’m in Kindergarten, which I wouldn’t remember of course. They’re kind, not the one I’m expecting that is quiet because I’m in a star section. And according to my knowledge, first section is quiet.

“Hey, I’m…” the first girl greeted. She was the one who keeps on asking her friends to talk to me.

“Hi! I’m…” another girl introduced. Well, she’s pretty and kinda tall. It reminds me of my classmate, Christine. Christine is very careful of her body and her things and this girl looks like Christine.

“And I am…” she added.

“Well, I’m Kylie Alvarez. I just transferred here as you can see.” I tried to make a good impression to them. First impression lasts. They say.

The next days were great; I didn’t expect that I would enjoy my stay in my new school. Maybe, I can call my transferring decision as one of the best decisions I’ve ever had. I guess.

As I knew them one by one, a group of my classmates were the ones who I was able to be closer compared to others. Actually, they’re the remaining first section of the Grade 6. They knew me by calling me “Marjorie” because their classmate named Marjorie is very similar to me. From that day, they’re been my close friends. The special ones there are Galadriel, Marcus and Ainesis. Galadriel and Ainesis are my best friends; I can call them as my best friends because I’m having fun with them while Marcus is like a close friend to me. That time, I’m very open to him and I don’t even know why. Maybe I’m comfortable when I’m with him.

One day, Rizza, one of my classmates, asked me one thing that I didn’t thought that will change my entire high school life.

“If you will like someone in our classroom, who would it be?” she asked me. The wind is very strong that time. Well, the wind feels something also.

That question brings back many memories especially the times that we’re together as friends. Friends? Or is it more than that? Without hesitation, I answered a name.

“Marcus,” I smiled after.

Why Marcus? I wouldn’t realize why him? Is it because he’s cute? I remember that I said in our first day or the first week that he’s cute. Well, it’s true and I wouldn’t lie about that. Is it because I’m very open to him? He even asks me if I’m fine. Or is it because he’s turning to be a rebound because I told Sean that he’s courting me?

After that day, I started to like him. Like him? Kylie, what are you doing once again? Please don’t do it once again. But what will I do if my heart starts to like him? So this heart of mine decides to risk everything just to be with him. It was easy for me to be with him that time because we’re closer than ever. He even asks me to be with him after P.E class just to help him fix his things. He would even tease me about my oily face, which I’m very conscious. And everyday, I’m enjoying these times that we’re together; with no boundaries or obstacles.

Finally, I made my good decision.

But things, good things to be exact, can lose with a second. And maybe, this is the situation I’m having.

I lose him, entirely in my life.

I cried and cried as if I’m like a child that loses her lollipop.

After my dramatic scene, I asked his forgiveness but when I tried, I see his other side; the angry one. He’s pretty angry about the things I’ve done. Maybe disappointed too.

The next few days, I tried once again and he gave me his forgiveness. I thought it would be okay after that but it turned out that we’re like strangers now. The friendship that we had before, now it’s all gone. Even some of my classmates are drifting away from me.

I staked our friendship to love that I thought it will be successful but it wasn’t. Another mistake. Another heartbreak.

[12.15.10] Air on the G String

A handsome guy enters the room with pride. He’s wearing tux, pants and his white rubber shoes. There is a loud scream when he entered. Maybe it is his fans that really love him.

He bows first before sitting to his chair, just to show courtesy that he will start. He gently opens the cover of the piano. He merely feels the piano pieces before he starts. His audience is waiting for him to play.

After a second, he starts to play his famous piece, the “Air on the G String”. Instead of cheering him, the audience remained silent to hear this beautiful piece. Some of them are swaying and some are just humming the piece. Even though he played it over thousand times, they still like the piece.

He is seriously playing the piece that he practiced when he was a teenager. After finishing this piece, he never tried to play any piece; he only played the “Air on the G String”. He never told anyone the real reasons why. But who cares? At least, they’re able to listen this piece from him.

After finishing the piece within 5 minutes, he closes the piano and bows once again after standing up. Everyone cheered after he bowed. They really love the “Air on the G String”. He left after his recital, someone approached him; it’s his coach.

“You’re playing that piece once again Justin,” his coach sermons. “You’re a very talented yet you’re playing that piece.”

“This is my life so don’t bother me.” He bumps his coach and gets his knapsack to put his things there. While picking up his things, his coach came to him.

“Justin, just think of this. How can a pianist be famous if he only played one piece? Justin can you just explain this to me?” the coach stares at him. It looks like he doesn’t listen to his coach.

He gets his book and puts it on the knapsack. He wears his knapsack and looks at his coach straight to his eyes.

“I play, not because of popularity, I play for the person I wanted to play it to.” He leaves after. The coach will try to stop him but someone stopped him.

“Just let him. He has his reasons.” She tries to calm Justin’s coach for that she really knows why he’s acting like that.

It is already dark outside but Justin decides to return to the music room to stay for a while. When he was already there, he sits on the audience seat and stares at the piano that he played. For him, the piano is very important to him. But some parts of it make him remember the girl she adores very much. He even remembers why he only plays “Air on the G String”.

“Do you know the story of ‘Air on the G Strings?’” she asks him as she touches the piano pieces. She really loves playing piano as much as he does and that’s the reason how they met.

“No,” he stares at her from the audience. He really loves looking at her angelic face.

“This is the story,” she grabs the seat and positioned it to face Justin. “Bach is having a recital that time but it was very unfortunate to him because all of the strings of the violin broke except for the G String. Everyone is waiting for him to be embarrassed. Suddenly, he starts to play the violin using the G String. It was awesome for everyone that he was able to compose a song with such short time and with only one string.” She continues her story.

Justin wasn’t listening the whole time for he really stares at his girl.

“Hey, Justin!” she tries to get his attention.

“What?”

“Do you understand the story?” she smiles.

“Yeah, yeah” he motions that he really understands it.

“Really huh?” she stands from her chair and she went to Justin.

“Yes I am,” he smiled sheepishly.

Suddenly, she tickles Justin. Justin keeps on laughing and laughing as Martha tickles her.

“Hey, stop Martha! I really understand the story.” He said as he tries to catch his breath.

“Then what’s the story?” she challenges him. She went near his face and stares at his beautiful eyes. Instead of answering, he just kissed her.

“Don’t do this trick to me. It won’t work.” She smirked after Justin lets go of her.

“I really love you Martha.”

“I know.” She pecked his cheek and sits beside him. Justin holds her hand and rubs it. “And I love you too, mister.” She leans on his shoulder. This moment is enough for them to be happy.

“Hey, you know how to play that piece?” he asks him.

“See?” she stops on leaning and returns her stare to his eyes. “You don’t even know the name of the piece.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I’m just busy staring at my angel.”

Martha laughed that time. Martha knows that Justin is very good at praising people. But this time, it won’t really work to her.

“Stop saying mushy words there.” She messes his hair.

“Eh,” he scratches his head. “I’m just saying the truth.”

“Yeah whatever.” She just smiled. “I don’t know how to play that piece but I will try to learn it.” As she say those words, she returns to the stage to go to the piano.

“If you already learned it,” he follows her at the stage. “Please play it for me.”

“Eh, my tickets are very expensive.” She joked. “How can I play that piece for free?”

“How about a kiss? Is it okay?” he wraps his arms around Martha’s waist.

“Really?” she stares at her boy friend and shakes her head. “I think it’s not enough.” She laughed after.

“Eh, don’t be cruel to me angel.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll play that piece for you, only for you.”

Justin really loves this girl and she is the one who can make him happy. Martha stares at him and remembers that it’s already late.

“Hey mister!” she shouted.

“Eh! What’s with the shouting?” he exclaimed.

“It’s already late.” She stands form her chair as he lets go of his hug. She grabs her things. “Let’s go.”

“Okay Madam.” He joked.

They left the auditorium after. His arms are around her shoulder when they left. They talked and talked as they walk together.

While walking, Martha breaks Justin’s hug from her and keeps on joking. She didn’t notice that there’s a truck that is coming to her place.

“Martha!” he shouted but it was too late; the truck already bumps her. He called for help and the ambulance came. He held her hand tightly and tries to cheer her up.

“Martha, you can do it. Just hold my hand and everything will be fine.” He said.

“Sorry Justin. I don’t know if I still can.” Her tears fell as he saw his boy friend that is worried about her.

“No! Martha, don’t say that. You will be able to play that piece for me, right?”

She just smiled that time. Seeing his boy friend that is very curious about the piece makes her to hold on but she really can’t.

When they reached the hospital, she brought her to the emergency room. Justin wants to go inside too but the nurses stopped her. So he sits on the bleachers near the room and prayed.

After an hour, the doctor leaves the room. Justin saw the doctor and approached it.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “She wasn’t able to do it.”

His world fell in just an instant. She’s gone? How will he accept it? He can’t even imagine himself without her. He cried silently in the corner.

In her funeral, he didn’t go for that he doesn’t want to accept the truth the she’s gone. Suddenly, he heard a piano piece. He went to his piano and saw no one is playing but the piano is playing; by itself. He wasn’t scared for that he remembers the “Air on the G String” that Martha told him before she is gone.

“I will that piece for you Martha. And that’s the only piece I will play in my entire life.” He promised as the piano still continues on playing.